Sunday, 20 May 2007

Jesus he knows me, and he knows I’m right

Of course he does. Now, to the new blogging style and all those things I promised you, i.e. ramblings, bad commentary and cheap prose, ha!

I see things across the net all the fucking time, the difference that makes a few stand out, is that they will trigger a memory, make a spark of electricity fly to across my brain, activating some distant thought I had somewhere down the line, and they make me feel happy. I’ve always been a bit of a consumer, enjoying spending my money, and why the fuck not, I work hard enough for it.

Although I do prize a good anecdote over any sort of material goods, I also enjoy said material goods when I decide to buy them, usually on a hangover to treat myself. Anyway, in line with the point of this blog, the items I’m going to post will usually be some quality goods that are either retro in nature with a technological twist or brand new, the best of their kind, and heavily steeped in geek-like hedonism.

Now let us get off to an awesome start, three goods that I believe to be super ace, state of the art and in supreme taste. Firstly there’s the ‘Big’ styled piano mat, for the grownup child in all of us, or perhaps just the drunkard. Whoever saw Big when they were younger thought three things; firstly how lucky is he to nail that auburn haired vixen, that studio apartment is totally awesome and how fucking cool would it be to play on one of those big floor pianos?

Well now you can thanks to grandriver toys, although the image is completely misleading. The stats say it’s 6.5 feet wide, if that’s the case the girl in the image must be about 1 foot tall, either way, I want one.

Okay, now lets say you’ve got that huge ‘Big’ styled New York studio apartment, you’ve got your giant floor piano, now you need somewhere to sleep. In the movie he bunks with his bezzy mate, come the 21st century you want something a bit better, well jump straight into your Z box. I love this thing, for some reason I have a thing about rooms inside rooms, I just think they’re ace, and this is like having your own little super fort.

So you’ve got your floor piano and bedroom sorted, two more things to get sorted. Firstly how to keep cool in those Big Apple summers, well that’s sorted with this P40 Tigershark Warbird Ceiling Fan. Sure the technology isn't exactly brand new, it’s not that hedonistic per say, but it’s fucking cool, and that indeed makes it hedonistic.


Finally, how to make toast, grill? Conventional toaster? Fuck that. This design concept, Toasty, the toaster is only missing one thing, the ability to talk, and if it could, you know it would sound like Samuel L Jackson crossed with Bender out of Breakfast Club, too cool for school.

More tomorrow.

1 comment:

ETCOOK said...

RE: Big - Don't forget his absolutely amazing job of testing toys whilst under the guise of being an adult or Tom Hanks lookalike!!!